Well now *that* was interesting.

I have just spent most of the day having my heart examined. yep, it's still there.

I had been having mild chest pains for a week, but this morning, it seemed worse, and I started noticing that the pain was radiating out to my shoulder and I was getting tingling in my face and hands. That didn't seem like a good sign.

the pain was my right shoulder, and that didn't seem likely to be heart ... and the pain was still mild. But, well, it was achey enough that I couldn't quite forget it and get some work done.

Then I saw Jack's face in front of me, and I knew I had to get it checked out.

I was pretty sure it was nothing, but at my age...maybe that's not a chance to take when I have a "young" family counting on me. After all, if I die or am disabled, we won't be able to afford the lifestyle we have now and we probably won't be able to afford to continue homeschooling. The thought was just heartbreaking.

So, off I went.

I have been examined pretty thoroughly, and while they have not managed to identify the source of the chest pains, nor made them go away, they have tentatively ruled out cardiac involvement. (I have some more tests scheduled and some appointments with specialists, but I am back at work rather than in ER, so I think we're good.)

Middle age is such fun ...

But this is, again, more incentive to get my butt out onto the track again. I have a lot riding on my health!

They grow so fast, part one...

This is my firstborn, TJ. Isn't he cute?

This photo was taken in 1981.

He's grown up a bit since then -- now he's the Pappa of two equally beautiful babies, Bella and Leo.

This photo was taken in late 2004.

It's amazing to me that my very first baby could possibly be nearly 30!

And yet, he has grown up to be a marvelous man I am very proud of...he has made a much more successful family for his children than his father and I were able to create for him. Not because it's easy for him, but because he and his partner, Wanja, have the strength of will to make it so in spite of the hard times.

TJ lives in Sweden, where it's very hard to get work, and relatively easy to sit back and let the government take care of you. But TJ isn't happy to do that. He has worked hard to find a niche for himself, and he works hard every day that he can get work. His reputation is spreading, and he has hopes of one day soon finding himself a job that he can work at full time and permanently.

And best of all? He's still amazingly cute. ;)

Nothing much to say ...

I am having thyroid dosage trouble again and I'm exhausted by the time work is done...

I am, however, tickled that we're expecting as much as 10 inches of snow!

Teaching kids to be happy!

In my wanderings through the blogosphere, I often click "open in a new window" when i come across a link that looks interesting.

As I was closing down my computer a few days ago, I found this page open -- and I was delighted to fins that it contains concise scientific explanations for and research backing, some of the things that Rod and i have learned through hard-won experience, intuition, and observation.

Although I am not a big fan of video-blogging, (Mark says I am almost Amish in my approach to technology...maybe, but I also find words easier to focus on when I can see them. My ears don't work so good!) I am most impressed with the videos down the right side of the page. I though "Focus on Effort" and "Teaching Gratitude" were especially insightful, though I found them all worthwhile.

It's so nice to have science back me up once in a while! *grin*

Fitness Update

Sadly, I have little to report on this.

Remember back when I commented that I really needed to get back to walking? Never did. The only part that I have stuck with is that I park at the far end of the parking lot, so I walk 1/4 mile to and from the car. And I suppose it could be significant that in the current temperatures, I am walking at a good clip.

Still, I felt so much better for the many months when I was walking a lot that I really do still want to get back to it.

I just got some more incentive this afternoon, too.

My hbA1c is up top 6.3 from the 5.0-5.5 that I prefer and my cholesterol is still in ned of work. My total is 198, which I consider just fine (though my doctor disagrees), but my LDL is 139, as opposed to the 100 I think it should be, and my HDL is way too low. Currently it's at 34 and I want it up to at least 60. That imbalance suggests a systemic inflammation. Of course some of that would be my totally irresponsible (and utterly fun) holiday indulgance. ;)

But while returning to eatign better (fewer cookies) will help a lot, walking also helps.

Work is busier than I think I have ever been, but I just ahve to work out a time that I can walk again.

a trip to the botanical gardens

Last Sunday (yeah, I've been slow to get to blogging it) Grandpa John came with us to visit the Matthai Botanical Gardens.

TJ and Corey and I used to go there and we referred to it as "visiting summer", because we usually went in the winter.That was, of course, in the days when there were few places indoors for kids to play so winter was long and cold and visiting summer was extremely welcome come about the middle of February.

On this trip, we saw many of my old favorites - -we saw a chocolate tree, a banana tree, and an orange tree. We found a rosemary bush and a bay laurel ... is that a tree or a bush? The camellias were beautiful, as were the orchids.

We saw some meat eating plants, which Jack was pretty dubious about, even though all three of his adults assured him it was so.

We found a huge colony of rather large spiders over the fish pond -- I think we counted about a dozen of them! I pondered that I had never heard of social spiders...and Rod pointed out that the only thing a "colony" of spiders suggest is a lot of bugs. Sure enough, there were hundreds of tiny flying insects in the same area.


But hands down, Jack's favorite - -as was true for his older brothers before him, was the the pond of HUGE gold-fish! There are perhaps a half dozen gold fish in a cement "pond" in the middle of the gardens and since they have plenty to eat and no predators, they have passed the "gold fish" stage and made it all the way to "carp-dom".

Not only are they huge, but they're beautiful. Our favorite was a reddish gold with black spots, but there were also white and yellow ones and a reddish gold one without spots.

The plants were interesting and all, but the fish moved and seemed to be paying attention to him! That's far more satisfying to a young man, so once we reached that part of the conservatory, Jack was reluctant to move on.

Fortunately, it also made a lovely spot fold his elders to stop and rest our weary bones, so we didn't mind.

All in all, a lovely visit. We spent just over an hour at the conservatory and got warm through and saw many interesting thing ... and then we were off home for warm soup and conversation.

Lovely.

Catching up

Mark has been home for days and Rod and I have both been home-at-the-same-time for almost a week. It's been glorious!

I thought I'd be blogging a lot more once we were both home, but it gradually dawned on me why I hadn't been. Turns out that I have been a lot more interested in "doing" than in talking about it for a while.

Doing, we have been, though.

We have been baking and cooking, and cleaning and just generally nesting. It's been wonderful!

Jack and I have experimented with baking apple pies as a change from my endless fruit crisps. I don't have a lot of luck with pastry, so Rod is working on his pastry skills.

I have also been whipping up experimental biscuits, because they're tasty, easy, and can be whipped up very quickly when we want bread and haven't got any. Some of them have been stellar, some not so much, but all have been edible.

Between baked goods and soups, we've been cooking quite a bit and feeling content.

Slowly, slowly the house is coming together again, with the laundry nearly caught up and the tidying back to a reasonable state.

We even found the time to clean out both freezers. When we were done, we found that we actually have plenty of room to consider adding freezing to our "putting food by" projects. The side-by-side is pretty well stocked with the day-to-day food but other than a treasure trove of frozen cranberries and enough bones to keep us in broth for months, it' pretty much empty.

Our thought is to add berries and other fruit to out agenda next fall and then freeze them for later, but we're also looking for other things.

We've tried "cooking ahead" and that has gone very poorly. We haven't had a lot of luck with the texture of the food and so it ends up not being eaten so we're not entirely sure what to add.

Ahh well, I'm sure it'll come to us eventually.

How My Boys Spend Their Days

Noticing has evolved since I last participated last autumn.

I had read about spending hours outdoors with kids every day and how good that is for them physically and emotionally, but I'll have to admit that I was perplexed about what one would do out there for hours when there was no gardening to do.

Lucky for Jack, Rod spent much of his early life close to the land and as his health has returned it has come naturally to him to spend time out of doors with Jack. When I inquired about what they do, he said something vague about "just potzing around". I wasn't sure what that meant. So, on Saturday, after I finished with my chores, I joined the boys in their noticing.

Now I know what Rod meant by "potzing". It *is* hard to describe. In the most general sense, I suppose one could call it "tidying up". Sticks and branches that had been blown down in recent storms are collected and tossed onto the main rabbit warren. Dead trees and bushes are pulled up to make room for more growth. But leaf buds are inspected and all kinds of interesting things are examined, and it's amazing how fast the time passes with "nothing happening".

I was left with a sense of deep, deep contentment that has lasted another two days.

I am so lucky to have Rod in my life. I am full of "good ideas", but without Rod, I would have no idea how to manifest them. Jack is a very fortunate boy to have his Dad to learn from!

Jack: Nutrition Investigator

I hadn't really stopped to think how often I check the label of a packaged food until Jack started to read them to us at every turn. Any meal that includes a packaged food these days is punctuated by a small boy intoning "fat, five grams, carbohydrate three grams, calories 125 grams, sodium 25 milligrams.

Yep, food labels are important in our lives. We eat relatively few processed foods, and we always check the ingredients for trans fats, HFCS, and refined carbohydrates in deciding whether to buy one. But, of course, the nutrition facts grid is far easier to read, and so every label that Jack gets his hands on treats us to a dramatic reading. Of the entire label, mind you

Did you know that a quarter teaspoon of nutmeg contains 3 calories from an unspecified source? No, me neither. But Rod found Jack in the pantry reading the spice jars and baking ingredients after lunch this afternoon

All of this would be great, except that we haven't really started talking to him about what it all means yet and so Jack is figuring out what it all means all by himself, leading to some pretty interesting conclusions.

Because I have to watch my carbs so that I can balance them with fats and proteins to keep my blood sugar even, I comment on carbs pretty regularly. Unfortunately, Rod and I have developed a shorthand that leaves out a lot of assumptions and Jack seems to have picked up the idea that "carbs are bad". He read the maple syrup label this morning and wanted to forgo Dad's Perfect Pancakes simply because maple syrup is virtually all carbohydrate (...well, plus many minerals that they don't mention on the labels) and pancakes just aren't the same without maple syrup. Fortunately, his nose eventually won him over.

But clearly it's time to talk to him about food, balance, and what really matters in the food labels. Jack reads everything he can get his hands on these days and he can read at an early fourth grade level -- but he still has the life experience and understanding of a four year old. That can be dangerous if we don't help him to interpret what he's reading.

For example, Jack's misunderstanding of my caution about carbohydrate needs to be redirected for Jack to a wariness of refined carbohydrates. Until he's actually trying to moderate his diet to ease life for his own pancreas, limiting carbohydrate isn't appropriate.

If I don't move on it now, Jack is likely to pick up the current hysteria about fats. Fats are both good and necessary and I'd much rather he direct that concern into avoiding trans fats and hydrogenation. Those toxic pseudofoods really are worth avoiding.

Then again, I am very glad he is taking an interest in nutrition. It will serve him well in the years to come.

Investigating Fossils

Jack is on a roll with paleontology and zoology at the moment.

He's not distinguishing much, at the moment, between the two.

The leopard tortoise and the apatosaurus are equally interesting to him. But fossils hold still better than living moles and chipmunks, so they have an edge in holding a boy's attention.

Last night after dinner, he and Rod went through the bucket of fossils we dug up at fossil park last October to see if they could identify what we found.

There were quite a few pieces of Brachiopods, the occasional piece of horned coral, and one almost complete Trilobite.

Convincing Jack that these were neither rocks (exactly) nor living animals was a bit of a challenge, but he seems to be hard at work on classification, even though the concept of fossils and extinction are still very confusing to him. (This is tying it together for him that when we die, our bodies turn back to dirt, though. He speculated that Grandpa and Popjack must be rocks by now, bcause they have been gone so long.)

Jack has now moved some of the smaller, clearer fossils into a small box and has requested that we work on digging some of the others out of their bigger peices of rock, so I'm pretty sure we're not done with these fossils yet.

We want to stop in at Fossil Park again next June, just after they pour in the new rocks from the quarry. We hope to get some better (easier to recover) specimens. The the ones we got were from well-picked over rock and while they weren't bad, we're told the fresh rock results in some amazing specimens.

(Connor's Dad managed to find some of those -- but he is both more agile and more persistent than we are. )

Jack will probably have more fun with the actual excavation as he gets older -- especially if the fossils he finds are plentiful and more intact and thus more recognizable.

This homeschooling thing, even though at four, it mostly means following your child's whimseys,. is a LOT of fun. No reason this part couldn't be done with a schooled child...except that it never seemed to happen.

Happy New Year!

Happy new year everyone -- may 2008 be everything you were hoping it would be, and may it still hold a few wonderful surprises for you!

What a glorious evening and what a wonderful start to the new year!

Building a library for a young pagan child

Building a pagan children library has certainly gotten easier than it was 27 years ago when I started. I have to say, though, that I am still not finding the rich resources that I would have expected, given the number of extremely creative pagan parents I know.

Then again, I haven't done a whole lot to add to the resources, so I can hardly complain. (One book that I have finally found an artist for will be published as soon as she's finished -- but that's not a lot!)

Still, I have found some truly wonderful stuff, so I figured that I'd share what I know about, in hopes that other would do the same and we can all support the writers and artists who are supporting us and boost our kids libraries.

Pagan Books for Kids

For the real littles, I have found only The ABC Book of Shadows by Katie Lydon Olivares -- an alphabet board book full of pagan vocabulary and sweet art. (A is for Altar, B is for Beltaine, etc.) It's a nice start, but the book seems to be out of print and can be hard to find. (It took Amazon 6 months to find a copy for me.)

For the bigger kids who are ready for stories with chapters, W. Lyon Martin has written and found a publisher for two books aimed at early school-aged children: An Ordinary Girl; a Magickal Child and Aidan’s First Full Moon Circle. Ordinary Girl follows the adventures of a little girl called "Rabbit" as she explores her families paganism, starting with an explanation of what paganism means and continuing with Rabbit's own paganing ceremony. She briefly explores God and Goddess, Magic, Circles, the Wheel of the Year, discrimination and how to cope with it, moon cycles, and family magick like house blessings and banishing bad dreams. It's a sweet book and Jack and I enjoy reading it from time to time.

We only got Aidan this Yule and we haven't had a chance to slow down and read it yet, but the reviews say "Aidan and his parents have been solitary witches for as long as he can remember. At the rising of the Harvest Moon, his family is invited to a local coven’s Full Moon Esbat celebration. Aidan is jittery about joining a Circle full of strangers. While he is enjoying himself around the bonfire, the High Priestess and his mother cook up a plan to get him involved in the Harvest Moon ritual. Aidan learns he is an important member of the Pagan community." Sounds good to me. Of course, Jack has celebrated in community all his life, but the idea that not everyone does is a good thing to share. If Aiden lives up to Lyon Martin's previous book, it will be a treat for us to enjoy when life slows down in the new year.

Anika Stafford has given us Aisha's Moonlit Walk , in which little Aisha celebrates each of the eight Sabbats with her family a friends. It's similar in outline to Magickal Child, but different enough that Jack and I enjoy reading them and comparing how different families celebrate and comparing that to how we celebrate.

Finally, we come to A Witches Primer, Grade One by Lorin Manderly. It's not a story book but a young children's pagan curriculum for use by parents or children's circles. There are a little over 150 pages with no pictures at all, so it probably won't hold the attention of the very young. (Jack loves to read, but it doesn't really keep his attention yet at four and a half.) I do find it useful to read myself for ideas about how to explain some complex concepts for really little kids, though. Even when I don't entirely agree with her, Manderly helps me to find ways of explaining my beliefs that Jack can follow. I look forward to hearing that Grade Two is available, as well.

That pretty much sums up what I have found that is specifically pagan. Of course, there are plenty of less specific books that we enjoy.

Non-Pagan Books for Pagan Kids

I have no idea whether Ellen Jackson is "one of us"; probably not, but I find that hers is a name to look for.

So far we have Earth Mother, a lovely story about the balance of all the earth's creatures that seems like it might be based on a traditional African story. Man thanks the Goddess for giving him yummy frogs to eat, and complains about the pesky mosquitoes. Mother listens calmly and patiently, and then moves on to frog, who thanks her for the yummy mosquitoes to eat, but complains about the pesky and dangerous man. Mother listens calmly and patiently, and then moves on to mosquito, who thanks her for the yummy man on whom she feeds, but complains abput that pesky and dangerous frog who dines on her. Mother listens calmly and patiently, and then moves on, and nothing changes. The world is perfect just as it. The art is lovely, and the message is a very good one for teaching littles about the interlocking of all earth's creatures before we dtart trying to explain the ethics of magick.

Summer Solstice, Celebrating the Harvest/ The Autumn Equinox, Winter Solstice, and Celebrating the Greening of the Earth/ The Spring Equinox are mainly scientific and anthropological but it's good to have books that acknowledge our holidays and talks about the history of people celebrating them through time, anyway. ;)

In a similar vein to Jackson's seasonal books, Wendy Pfeffer's The Shortest Day explains what the winter solstice is and how it has been observed by various cultures throughout history. It is a more or less astronomical and anthropological review, but again, having books about one of "our" holidays is helpful and this one incorporates a few exercises you can do with your older children.

Eileen Spinelli gives us I Know It's Autumn. In it, the narrator, a child of six or seven, tells all about the signs in her (rather rural) life that Autumn has come, from the change in the light, to pumpkin muffins on the breakfast table, to the harvest at the market and the appearance of winter coats again. It's a simple picture book that younger children will enjoy and older children can read for themselves. Again, I like the fact that it focuses on the changing of the seasons, and although the scene isn't described in much detail, the family does go to what looks like it may be a Sabbat circle or a powwow at one point. It's kept vague enough that a child who is accustomed to those ideas will respond to the familiarity, but a child who isn't won' t miss much.

Chris Van Allsburg's The Stranger is just plain cool -- and my kids and I have long thought that surely the stranger is a weather sprite or a Pan-like god in charge of wild-life and weather.

Brother Eagle and Sister Sky A message from Chief Seattle isn't neo-pagan, and there is a great deal of controversy about how much resemblance it bears to anything Chief Seattle may have said, but Jack loves it and it certainly send a message of the importance of honouring the earth. That's good enough for us for the time being. I don't encourage Jack to think of it as representative of Native American spirituality, except, perhaps in spirit -- just as it's not neo-pagan spirituality, except maybe in spirit.

In a more classical vein, I highly recommend Mordicai Gerstein's Tales of Pan, a book of silly stories about the classical world's favorite mischief maker.

So, that's what I found one one quick perusal of the book shelves. What books have helped you to educate your baby witchling? Please do share, in comments or in e-mail!

Christmas day

December 25 is largely a quiet affair for us. We spent most of it in our pajamas -- Rod baking bacon and cheese rolls and me making waffles. We're not Christmas people, but both of Jack's grandmothers and his Auntie Karen are, so on Christmas morning, so we also opened the gifts they sent. (Plus one from the cats and one more from Mamma and Dad.)

Grandma's gift was BIG and RED -- so, of course, it went first.

There is just something about a big, bright red box...

And inside the red box was...a white box!

And inside the white box was...

An ice cream maker!

That was, evidently, a very good choice for surprising a boy.

Yep, good call, Grandma!

Next came a sweet little green package from Auntie Karen.

Jack was pretty sure he knew what it was, because Auntie K knows her boy and can usually be counted on for a ...

BOOK! But this one is even better because it is named Jack!

Wow! Jack had to stop and read that immediately, especially because he is very fond of the Rev Awdry's Thomas the Train anyway and having one named for him was a major bonus.

The next package was from Dad's mother, Mormor.

Again, Jack had a pretty good idea what was inside, and he was very excited, because Mormor's gifts are always very cool and very Australian.

"Mamma, what's a Wiggly Party?" But, yes, it sure is colourful, cheerful, and very Australian! He immediately sat down to read that one through a couple of time, too!

Later that evening, after a visit to Mark, we had a try at the ice cream ball.

It was easy, fun, and magnificent! (Instead of cream, we used whole raw milk -- it was just s rich as half and half, I think. We added to that a Mexican double vanilla and we sweetened it with sucanat--an unrefined sugar. It was amazingly tasty.)

Jack proclaims it "very unusual, in a good way".

Christmas Eve

Our friends, Chad and Calesta Harrison, invited a few friends over for a Victorian style Christmas Eve for the kids this year.

The Harrisons own one of the historic homes in nearby Saline, Michigan, and Calesta had dolled the place up right for a home tour this year, so she invited us over to enjoy it with a some Victorian traditions.

We started with a Christmas maze, in which the children followed ribbons with their names on them to their own little gifts under the tree.

I'm not sure the children entirely "got" it, but they had a blast, and they enjoyed the little gifts we had all supplied for all of the children. I think that they would understand a lot better next year, having tried it once and gotten the payoff -- and it sure was fun to watch!

Next we did Christmas Cones, which are essentially similar to the well-known Christmas stocking. They contain a few candies and fruits and a few small trinkets to unwrap.

Jack was absolutely croggled at the concept of "no limits" on his candy consumption from the cone. I was croggled that he chose to throw a lot of it away.

After all the gifts were unwrapped, the kids sat down to draw and the adults chatted for a bit.

And then we all went out for dinner at a local Korean restaurant. Chad is our "resident expert" on Korean food and culture, having been to Korea, and with his guidance we had am amazing meal -- Jack, even after all that candy, and with his usual reluctance to eat anything not already familiar, ate a huge meal and proclaimed it wonderful!

It was a delightful afternoon! Calesta and Chad sure know how to throw a party! (I am not a big fan of huge parties and I usually find parties of any kind just exhausting. Somehow I found this Christmas Eve both fun and relaxing.)

Snow-budgie 2

Misti mentioned the snow-budgie a week or so ago, and here is the little video I assembled to immortalize our endeavour.


Enjoy

Rod

Yule Cottages

For the last two years, we have gotten together with our friend Nerida to make Yule cottages in the week before yule.

Last year, Jack and I did the construction and it went very badly.

This year, I nominated Rod to do the construction. It didn't go much better.

We had fun anyway.

And, just as last year, Nerida and Connor did a great job.

We like to claim that it's because Nerida is an engineer, but Rod and I may get some more materials and practice again this year -- just to see if we can't figure out where we're going wrong.

But the kids have a blast eating too many sweets and raising a ruckus, so it's very worthwhile even if we never do get a real cottage out of it.

What a holly, jolly...

Happy holidays, everyone!!

We had a wonderful Yule on Saturday. Our dear friend, John, joined us for a quiet meal* and a small gift exchange. Then we sat around and watched Jack unwrap some more.

Jack's method of madness has changed this year.

As you may remember, last year he opened one gift and played with it for a long time, and then op0ened another and played with that. We were delighted but surprised that it took him five hours to open seven gifts!

This year, he opened one thing after another until everything he was allowed to open was in front of him. He took a few minutes to savor each gift, but then wanted to see what else there was to see.

Once he had seen everything, he spent several hours playing with his train set, to which Dad had added this year. He loves his Ikea train set, and the new module Dad added this year lets him make elevated track and bridges. Fun!!

Next he spent several hours playing with all of his babies. Mamma helped him to add two new babies (plus extra clothes and blankets and baby bottles) to his "family" this year. He now has five "children". There are, of course, "Baby", whom he got from Mormor, "Scarecrow" ,whom he got from Miss Bon, and "Bob", who came home with Dad from Belgium, as a gift from Mr. Jos and Miss Vivian. This holiday, Adam and Fallon joined the family. (He must be growing up -- as they join the family, the babies names are getting more and more name-like.)

The book, music CD, puzzles, and videos all came in for a moments review, but they required more focused attention than he could manage on Yule, so they came into their moment of glory on Sunday.

There have been lots of other holiday adventures that I hope to write about later, but right now, I have Christmas Cones to make ... !

(*after a mad dash across town at the last minute for a missing ingredient or two.)