That transit is coming to an end next weekend, so we can expect the effects to heat up for a few days. What that means in realistic terms, for those of us who don't spend a lot of time watching the stars and being introspective, is that all summer long, a lot of the people around us have been annoying, or annoyed -- or both. That's likely to be even more the case for the next few days, especially if we haven't figured out how our values are shifting.
It is from the people who have annoyed us most that we have something to learn. If you think for a moment about the people who have annoyed you this summer, you'll probably find it all boils down to one factor, and that tells you something about what you value. Something you may not have been specifically aware of or are not living up to. A value you may not have consciously realized was important to you.
Now, I have always been a pretty opinionated person.
This summer, who do you suppose has gotten on my nerves the most? Not opinionated people specifically, but opinionated people who feel the need to preach. People who feel like they need to be "in your face" with their opinions.
(The corollary is that this summer I have come to deeply respect the handful of people in my world whom I know to have strong opinions but who are confident enough in their opinions that they live them with little fuss. People you have to ask questions of to know what they think about the things that matter most to them.)
I have been that kind of "in your face" opinionated. I didn't expect people to agree with me, necessarily -- but I did expect them to understand and accept that I had strong beliefs on my pet subjects. Why that was important to me, I can't begin to say. It simply was. (Is?) I didn't feel I was being judgmental, since I was happy for people to have and hold their own opinions and I was happy to hear about why they thought so, but I see now that from the outside that looks like a VERY fine line. The "need to share" at length with anyone in ear shot can come off as intolerance.
I value tolerance and this Venus retrograde has taught me that I want to be someone who can hold strong opinions while being *actively* tolerant of those with different views. That means not mouthing off so much.
Can I do it?
That's another question entirely. I don't know, but I intend to try. Of course I am not promising not to "mouth off" here. I have to have *some* platform to feel heard. But I hereby give you my explicit "permission" to skip anything that doesn't interest you and not to feel that I am judging you if I state opinions that you know I know you disagree with. Unless your opinion is one I see as "intolerant" I probably don't feel that way. My being opinionated is actually all about being heard and understood, and I'll try to make that clear.
But I sure am glad Venus goes direct next weekend.
I hear you about how sensitive people are about the way people express their views. Back when I worked in an office, all I had to do was get out a container with my (vegetarian) lunch inside and start heating it up, without a single word said, and people would come up to me and start arguing against vegetarianism. I think that to them, without saying even a single word, I came across as opinionated against their own life choices, just because I was making a choice that was different than their own. It is such a fine line to walk to be able to hold opinions of one's own without making other people feel preached-at or judged.
ReplyDelete(In other words, that is my long-winded way of saying, "I hear you! And I don't know the answers either.")
-Valerie