I have done everything with a sense of "what if this is the end of a fairy tale?" Except when I wonder "I wonder what this will be like 'after'."
Adjusting to the possibility of major change is always like that, though. I read somewhere that 'anxiety is the vertigo of sudden freedom' ... or something like that. Yeah -- that's how this feels.
My life has always been episodic, and so there is nothing really new to me about endings...and I can't help but link them firmly in my mind to beginnings. That makes them not nearly so scary as they might be.
Changes aren't always welcome, but the new normal is usually pretty nice, once I adjust to the loss of the old normal.
Interestingly, our literature seems to be preparing us, too. We had checked a copy of The Education of Little Tree (the movie) out of the library weeks ago. (Yes, I am aware of the controversy, and I did a lot of reading and a lot of thinking before I decided that we would see it.) We just got a note that it was almost due back, so we watched it last night and we learned with Little Tree about how to keep on learning through changes in our lives, how to seek Te Way and to know that "we will always be together. Our souls know."
A few weeks ago, Jack selected Heidi as our current reading material. Heidi goes through change after change, and even when she isn't thrilled, she knows how to make the best of it and to keep a good attitude. Not long before we'd read Storm Boy.
Change. Change happens to everyone. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's bad. Sometimes it looks bad, but turns out to be good, or at least not so bad.
Rod and I both experienced a lot of change as children and we're comfortable with the storms of emotion change brings with it. Not that we like feeling blue and lost...but we know that it's going to happen, and that in its turn it will be replaced by the euphoria of endless possibilities that change also brings.
Jack has not experienced much change in his life so far. He is aware of what's happening, and he sometimes get a very sad expression, but so far he doesn't want to talk about it.
Fortunately, for the moment he has Yule to distract himself with -- this weekend is the big event! But in our case, that would be multiple "events".
On Friday night, we'll go to the big public ritual we participate in. The ritual will be very, very child oriented and Jack adores that circle! The ritual contains a lot of music and dancing and has plenty of room for free form child-energy. People range in age from infant to elderly, but the emphasis is on the kids which is just perfect for us.
On Saturday, I hope we will wake up early to see the sun rise, and then we'll clean and bake. We've been invited to a ritual on Saturday evening and I]d like to go, but the invitation was pretty vague and I'm not sure what time or where, so we may not make it to that one. Especially because Rod has a cookie exchange that same evening.
And on Sunday afternoon, Grandpa John will come over and we'll play and feast and open packages and have a wonderful ritual, and then we'll feast some more!
Of course, we're expecting some pretty exciting weather, too, so we'll need to fit feeding the critters in there somewhere, too. Probably several times.
We don't celebrate Christmas, per se, but both grandmothers do, so out of respect for them, Jack opens their gifts "on the day". That also serves to make their gifts "more special", since they get the spotlight all to themselves and several extra days of staring and wondering. Usually Rod and I cook all day, just because that's fun.
And then, of course, the celebration of the new year. We don't have plans yet -- but we always have a lot of fun and I'm sure this year won't be any different.
And at some point, Jack will put on his Santa Suit and we will wander from friend's house to friend's house distributing our gifts to them.
...and you know...I think that may be the best part!!
No comments:
Post a Comment
We're happy to hear from you; thanks!